Mr.PB(which recently has been changed into Mr.Z.O),I'm sorry to inform you of my cogitative decision that your life shall come to the end today.Well,we can both recollect the day when I started you with a Proem,and then I just keep filling really boring and stark stuffs inside your body and life.Wow,isnt that amazing that we have been in one for such a long time.
No,dont sing"die another day"to me;oh,no,dont even think about that.You have a wonderfully full scheme and vision of life,and you are having a much better portion than some others,you should know that this is a cheerful matter for both of us.
Ok,the joke is over.Well,I would end this blog today,because I decide to clean my daily life.I just feel its not necessarily healthy and beneficial for one to think,write,meet more persons,meet more cultures,touch something you dont really know,and play chess,play the musical instruments,surf online,read different news in the world.I mean it would render your mind to a different world that you dont belong to and live in.And thus,its just not needed any more.
So,today,I cleaned my computer,deleting all the "colourful"files,like movies,songs,scores,literature,novels,softwares,basically everything---only except 7 photos and a beautiful essays collection-----now my D.E.F discs are sheerly vacant,and only system files in C volume.And I have also deleted firefox,and all the records and traces in IE.So now my computer is a total nothingness.If someone uses it,he would say:hmm,its just a virgin and would become mine only since then.And so is my MP4,Mobile Phone(I deleted all the numbers that I wont meet in one week,and all the e-games except that "Beauty's Bakery".)And I decide to abandon chess and piano and violin,until someday if I became a hermit living alone or with a little child in a secure and secluded beautiful villa around which the natural scenery just makes one peaceful in heart,and then maybe I would pick them up a bit,but for sure I wont pursure them any more.Thats easy to understand,I'm just not going to put everything into my mind and spiritual home,especially something dubious and flashy.Living a simple and local life would really make me happy,and the friends and relatives around you are the most important and reliable.
Maybe I'm that kind of person who should get real first,before getting happier.
今天我要关闭这个博客了。能够从最初的“序言”到今天的“结语”，感觉还是不错的。毕竟可以当作完成了。我觉得现在的生活和自己并不是我真正认可的，所以我要进行一些整顿。首先就是要放弃，包括电脑，网络，钢琴，国际象棋，法语，手机聊天等等，这些其实并没有让我快乐，反而总是通过文化的方式，使我蛊惑与分心。我把我的电脑和手机基本清理干净，以后就让他们清静些。也不是说这些不可以，只是没什么必要还是不要热衷。对我而言就越少越好了。因为我本来五行就缺土，性格中也确实如此。
我想我的精神归宿还是自己的故乡，还是楠溪江畔的春夏秋冬，而不是其他的浮华的，花哨的，玄妙的东西。一辈子不需要做什么太多的事情，接触太多的东西，结交太多的陌生人，认识太多的思想和文化。不需要，但是总得珍惜自己身边的亲友，热爱身处其中的生活，敬重一些规矩和纪律，不要总是思想和情感飞到另一个世界去不羁，去厮混，其实那些都不可能成为你的心灵家园的。 当然，也应该很包容和友善地接受其他的文化世界，但是不能忘本。
Monday, April 6, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
For The Record
记录一些最近的发言。（括号内的为记录时的感慨和注释）
1.为什么从一个人的眼睛可以看出一个人的心灵？难道精神元素也是一种电磁波？
2.潜意识其实一直在活动，所以答案已经在空气中了，就差“灵魂附体”的一刻，牛顿的苹果就会落地。
3.你眼中的世界很宽敞 你眼中的世界很温和 我们可不可以 不要被误解所垄断 我们可不可以 不要被惯性所蛊惑 时代潮流在你 身上的涂鸦 是否太过嘈杂 而在那个中古的夏日午后 浮云带走儿时的回音 如果 我本来就不是这样的人 那么从来你也不是我的精神家园
4. Rafa是幸福的
突然觉得rafa一家都很棒 这就是他成功的一个主要原因 人的精神归宿应该朴实单纯而且平淡 不要见异思迁 否则会削弱一个人的福祉
5.真是受不了现在的人。（口头禅）
6.真不明白这有什么用。（口头禅）
7.如果我可以设计这个地球的历史，如果只有我一个人，并且我可以穿行天界，掌握更高的法则，自由订立地球上的契约和规矩。我将不会选择现在这样一个时代更替的轨迹。
8.本来，他可以拥有那样一个夏天的。（其实，本来我们就可以拥有任何一段时光的，但是都会被惯性所取定，从而多么值得惋惜啊。我就是觉得时光都是挺让人惋惜，怜惜的。）
9.生活，浅浅的感觉其实挺好啊，何必总是沉迷于蛊惑之中，中庸是不错的，the mean is the best,选择正确的上帝尚可接受，如果踩到了撒旦的一边，那该怎么逃脱苦难啊。
10.罗素说，真正的幸福应该是：让自己对这个世界（包括自己和自己的生活）的认识趋于最完满，同时保持五官的活跃（其实应该包括所有感官，以及保持身体健康）。
（没错，幸福确有多解。对有的人来说，听一首摇滚乐都很幸福，对有的人来说，美食很幸福。但是如果你没有完满的认识和健康的感官与身体，那么很快你就会在各种法则之中无法自拔，运气好能够求得一个正常的福祉，运气不好就一失足成千古恨了。但是运气－－－包括健康和福气，本来就不是一个人能够肯定和决定的东西，所以我们只考虑主观能动的话，保持一个完满的认识一定是可以救祸惜福的。随便举个例子，比如我认为世界的第一体系是政治，性别（所以其实性激素对一个人有全方面的重要性）等等，那么我就能够不会简单地为情所困，完全陷入gay的问题而无法安心。我们常常一出生就会随机传承很多文明传统中的红与黑，精华与糟粕，善良与邪恶，上帝与撒旦。如果我们遇到一个不祥的事件可以运用文明中的精华去分析和解决，那么自然就会可以一定程度重新洗牌，把一些儿时被动接受的错误尽量改正。因为时光会使一件事情积累而质变，所以显然我们不应以恶小而为之，以善小而不为了。简言之，在运气之外，幸福虽然可以指一些瞬时的享乐与感受；但是长远来看，真正的幸福已经等同于一个长期的生活状态和生活范围了。）
11.完全同意
金研尔骨子里就有种让人不喜欢的东西。
而每次看kwan的长距离燕式滑步，我都有一种热泪盈眶的冲动。有人问什么是艺术感染力，我想这就是。尽管打动人心的艺术气质很多，百看不厌的却一定是真挚而友善的。
（花滑比赛结束了。我蛮喜欢自己的这句评语。艺术是一个复杂的东西。它有点像物理，真理与文明，人的意识相重合的部分。这个世界的一切都可以在艺术领域映射，所以艺术领域一样有正义和邪恶，甚至是模棱两可，与人类世界无法交集的东西。总之，有时候会隐约觉得艺术是上帝不慎、或有意？遗失于人间的东西，是人间与别的世界的临界处的一些许多宇宙都广泛流行与采纳的交通隧道、或长廊?仿佛一不小心，你就可能在一段音乐中找到时空旅行的机器以及与别的星球的连音。
然而，总之，对我们人类而言，真挚而友善的艺术才是百"感"不厌的）
12. 我选水龙头第一是因为我喜欢看水 而不是节约金钱 敲门确实是朋友 下雨我不是在乎性 只是喜欢听雨声
(一个趣味的心理测试，我对这种肤浅的佛洛依德式的简单对应的回应。就像波伏娃说的，你不可以把一个男人看成一个巨型精子，女人巨型卵子，用精子和卵子的结构特性来判定男性和女性的结构特性。毕竟事实是事实，比喻是比喻，不可以完全准确到位。）
13.论则不达，达则不论。说者不做，做者不说。
(这些都是谚语。信然，辩论者往往是因为炫耀口才，要不就是自己搞不懂。如果真正搞懂，那就不会特别在意去诉说，因为已经完全融入了自己的生活之中，不用那么麻烦地去赘述。
说自己要做什么的人，常常是没有必做的决绝，想做的热情以及能做到的信心的。因为否则，你首先就会去做了，只有偶尔有空，心血来潮，或者炫耀，哗众取宠，引人关注，已经做到等等时才会再说一说。）
14.一个硕士 一个中文硕士 理应淡定地点开一个帖子 以标致的文法娓娓道来 笑容可掬 风度隽永 哪有这样气急败坏的
（一个硕士在那里哗众取宠，虽然本人学业一般，但也不是因为嫉妒了。只是觉得确实名不副实罢了。而且我中文其实一般，能够连用四个成语，几个形容词，都如此生动，贴切，传神，感觉很好！）
15.速度决定形象。相对论已经证明了时间和空间一样有着相对性，那么一个人的物理与精神的速度也能够决定一个人生活的形象和感觉。
（钱钟书说，快活就是快速地活着。恰恰是对人的生活感觉与物理速度的一种联接。）
16.熵是一种世界观。
（虽然本人物理极差，对很多物理理论无法看懂，也没有接触很多。但是偶然看到这本书，我就深深记住了这个标题，并且每逢时光如梭，往事如烟的感慨时，就会从嘴里冒出来。经典的例子说：一个房间整理完后，就会开始逐渐凌乱和散漫。热力学定律也说冥冥之中这个世界的很多东西的一次性是不可逆的。你的生命就是一次性的，而造成的结果就会成为事实，无法完全还原而不借助“上帝的外力”。整体能量是守恒的，但是熵却会不断增加。一个人的生命能量应该也是类似有限的，你在某个方面付出的太多，拥有的快乐和痛苦太多，就会在别的方面被剥夺，比如寿命，别的快乐与痛苦。但是同时，成熟与衰老的变化却是不断增加的。而一旦你的童年在马戏团的幽默中享受完毕，你就不可能在青年时拥有古时候那些书童们步入青年时的感受。
总之，物理有时也能总结整个世界的一种特征和真实状态,不管是精神还是物质层面上。如果说数学是上帝的法则，那么物理就是这个宇宙的标签，与别的宇宙之区别所在，因为别的宇宙估计会有另一种物理法则和另一种光速)
17.罗素说：一个人应该始终和这个世界保持一种友善，和谐的关系。
（又是关于罗素的发言，可见我还是很推崇他的。。。爱因斯坦也曾经说过：阅读罗素的作品，是我一生中最快乐的时光。虽然我最快乐的时光肯定是童年的一些回忆了，但是阅读罗素的作品，我还是能够明白为什么一个数学和哲学家可以凭借他的作品赢得诺贝尔文学奖，以及他为什么能够活到99岁。确实因为他的思想很健康，很正确，生活方式也很正确。）
18.有时候时光就是一种惯性，无法改正一个坏习惯难免会有点无语。比如我说了不准弹琴时候起了兴就乱弹野弹，比如要远离文明的某些“荼毒”，比如要早起，比如要远离现代文明生活中的各种弊病，电磁波辐射等，比如要洗心革面把精神家园维持在好的格调，比如要把生活规划与生活事实详细列个清单，但是有时候却还是会“本性难移”。所以似乎，一个人所处的环境和童年生活还是对他起着很主要的影响的。当然，我们也应该始终追逐健康，美好，积极，自然的生活风格。知迷则清，知错就改，爱因斯坦说上帝从不掷骰子。谁能否认这种可能性的存在呢？尽管不可能性也一样。
新加的两段,分别发表于流行钢琴网和百度钢琴吧
1.成人学琴两年多了，这个曾经只听过几首古典名曲的脑袋，现在已经可以适应299和肖邦圆舞曲集的音乐难度了，虽然基础技术上仍有许多明显的缺点和不足，299的程度也不高，但我感觉如果我全面提高自己的各方面素质和觉悟的话，应该可以渐渐克服种种缺点，更进一步。
但是我有时候很迷茫，有时候练完琴要么整个人的脑袋好像都麻木了，要么就情绪波动很大，严重影响了自己的学习和生活。我不禁扪心自问，何苦呢？虽然这段学琴生涯，我收获诸多心得和体会，然而也失去了很多东西。
我 害怕大脑无法再恢复以前的状态，以前那种会听着英语磁带中贝多芬月光的一个乐段无比甜蜜地安然入睡，听着格里格的清晨朝气蓬勃地醒来的状态。现在不管听什 么音乐，都很麻木，甚至摇滚乐也没有快感了。除此以外，自己的心有时会有点累，朋友说我现在变得想法特别多。我害怕了。我不知道这是因为学了钢琴导致的还 是本身性格有缺陷。
所以：
1.继续学。那是为了在音乐地图上，游览完所有风景胜地，让自己每每说起音乐时发现自己其实并非半桶水，若有若无的理解和无法真正总结出一个印象。
然 而，我担心自己走入那种状态以后就无法复原，可以为别人创造音乐的感动，却无法再感动自己。所听到的仅仅是音符，节奏，线条，色彩，内涵，却没有了最初的 那种感性迷恋。以及，自己变成了一个“超凡脱俗”"行为诡谲“的人，有种种的玄虚境遇。那样岂不会很孤独，很抽象又很物化？
2.停止。
现在回忆当时第一次弹琴时那种激动和专注的情景，不免莞尔。难道这就是所谓的围城心理？如果这是真理，似乎天下没有什么可攀比了。
试 想，当初为了听月光而把英语磁带当CD来听，并且浮想联翩地入睡，同时不可遏制地在梦中勾勒自己会弹琴时的极大满足和快乐，如今，却又开始怀念当时的简单 天真小美好。想那么简单地走在街上，听到橱窗里的优美旋律会流连忘返，佯装购物；想永远保持一份儿童的天真和热情，不知道这世上还有现代主义那样邪恶的哲 思；想留一些本土文化的方言味道，不必在精神家园中种下整个世界的多样。
我不知道其他成人学琴有没有我这样的问题，或许这和钢琴的关系小于和我本身性格的关系。
希望大家给我一些建议，谢谢。
(我发这个帖子，确实是出于一种迷茫。主要是对音乐的一种认识上。到底人们为什么要前仆后继地为了弹奏一个狂2或者追雪或者德彪西就把自己搞得每天都沉浸在特定类型的声波当中几个小时？如果不是为了成为演奏家谋生，这就应该严谨对待。高雅，陶醉其实是一种社会心理学的表象，而实质是对成就感和虚荣的贪欲，对大脑麻醉和刺激的一种手段－－－也许你能因此培养思想的深度，但其实也会有副作用和损失的（在这个帖子中我已经举例了）。所以对我而言，也许是要适可而止一些了。不要被蛊惑，而忘记了什么是对什么是错，什么是好什么是坏。）
2.我们是现代人，所以现代的流行音乐会引起我们的共鸣
正如古典音乐会引起当时人们耳朵的共鸣一样
但是不可否认，不管是古典还是流行，都有好听与不好听，健康与不健康，纯洁与邪恶之分。
只不过他们代表了不同的文化，不同的思想感情，不同的价值观与不同的感染力与影响效果。
我讨厌贝多芬一些暴躁的音乐，讨厌流行着的某一首蛊惑人心的摇滚乐，喜欢某一段巴赫的宁静和莫扎特的明亮，喜欢某一首流行着的校园民谣。并不是说我喜欢某一种类型，而是说我喜欢适合那时心境的，有益身心健康的音乐。音乐的本质是一种物理，然后才是一种文化媒介。
不同的文化活动会追求不同的音乐使之或流行或小众，不同的音乐也会影响一个人的精神活动和心情，甚至理智，所以我认为楼主的认识还是流于表面了。
一个演奏家，不得以，他要接触某些现代音乐，某些暴躁的音乐，这是无可厚非的，因为有些人会为这些曲目付钱给他们。如果不是演奏家，我认为对于音乐就要采取一种严谨和批判的眼光。
不要沉迷于音乐的世界而失去自我的朴素，和谐与快乐；而听一首音乐也要明确这首音乐的性质是否合乎自己的心意。
有的人接触音乐，是为了以音乐谋生；有的人接触音乐，是为了纵欲；有的人接触音乐，是为了优越感和虚荣心；有的人接触音乐，并不明白是为了什么。
（这段要发得早一些，感触也是类似的。总之，对于音乐，我们不能狭隘地沉迷其中。正如，对于思想，我们也不能过于迷恋，认为越高深越好，越聪明越好。有什么用呢。不过是无知的我们自己为了一种虚荣和社会心理而贪婪而已。所以，可以说，就像现在，我通过理智去分析生活事实，并不是说理智是好的，而只是一种手段，运用它我可以拨乱反正，把错误的生活内容停止和减少，把正确的安排和靠近。这包括行动和思想上的，所以现在我也不会思考太深了，仅仅打字而已。对我而言，我更相信一个儿童那样的纯真，热情和好奇的状态，简单却快乐，无忧无虑也不会被成人世界和现代文明所蛊惑。）
1.为什么从一个人的眼睛可以看出一个人的心灵？难道精神元素也是一种电磁波？
2.潜意识其实一直在活动，所以答案已经在空气中了，就差“灵魂附体”的一刻，牛顿的苹果就会落地。
3.
4.
突然觉得rafa一家都很棒 这就是他成功的一个主要原因 人的精神归宿应该朴实单纯而且平淡 不要见异思迁 否则会削弱一个人的福祉
5.真是受不了现在的人。（口头禅）
6.真不明白这有什么用。（口头禅）
7.如果我可以设计这个地球的历史，如果只有我一个人，并且我可以穿行天界，掌握更高的法则，自由订立地球上的契约和规矩。我将不会选择现在这样一个时代更替的轨迹。
8.本来，他可以拥有那样一个夏天的。（其实，本来我们就可以拥有任何一段时光的，但是都会被惯性所取定，从而多么值得惋惜啊。我就是觉得时光都是挺让人惋惜，怜惜的。）
9.生活，浅浅的感觉其实挺好啊，何必总是沉迷于蛊惑之中，中庸是不错的，the mean is the best,选择正确的上帝尚可接受，如果踩到了撒旦的一边，那该怎么逃脱苦难啊。
10.罗素说，真正的幸福应该是：让自己对这个世界（包括自己和自己的生活）的认识趋于最完满，同时保持五官的活跃（其实应该包括所有感官，以及保持身体健康）。
（没错，幸福确有多解。对有的人来说，听一首摇滚乐都很幸福，对有的人来说，美食很幸福。但是如果你没有完满的认识和健康的感官与身体，那么很快你就会在各种法则之中无法自拔，运气好能够求得一个正常的福祉，运气不好就一失足成千古恨了。但是运气－－－包括健康和福气，本来就不是一个人能够肯定和决定的东西，所以我们只考虑主观能动的话，保持一个完满的认识一定是可以救祸惜福的。随便举个例子，比如我认为世界的第一体系是政治，性别（所以其实性激素对一个人有全方面的重要性）等等，那么我就能够不会简单地为情所困，完全陷入gay的问题而无法安心。我们常常一出生就会随机传承很多文明传统中的红与黑，精华与糟粕，善良与邪恶，上帝与撒旦。如果我们遇到一个不祥的事件可以运用文明中的精华去分析和解决，那么自然就会可以一定程度重新洗牌，把一些儿时被动接受的错误尽量改正。因为时光会使一件事情积累而质变，所以显然我们不应以恶小而为之，以善小而不为了。简言之，在运气之外，幸福虽然可以指一些瞬时的享乐与感受；但是长远来看，真正的幸福已经等同于一个长期的生活状态和生活范围了。）
11.完全同意
金研尔骨子里就有种让人不喜欢的东西。
而每次看kwan的长距离燕式滑步，我都有一种热泪盈眶的冲动。有人问什么是艺术感染力，我想这就是。尽管打动人心的艺术气质很多，百看不厌的却一定是真挚而友善的。
（花滑比赛结束了。我蛮喜欢自己的这句评语。艺术是一个复杂的东西。它有点像物理，真理与文明，人的意识相重合的部分。这个世界的一切都可以在艺术领域映射，所以艺术领域一样有正义和邪恶，甚至是模棱两可，与人类世界无法交集的东西。总之，有时候会隐约觉得艺术是上帝不慎、或有意？遗失于人间的东西，是人间与别的世界的临界处的一些许多宇宙都广泛流行与采纳的交通隧道、或长廊?仿佛一不小心，你就可能在一段音乐中找到时空旅行的机器以及与别的星球的连音。
然而，总之，对我们人类而言，真挚而友善的艺术才是百"感"不厌的）
12. 我选水龙头第一是因为我喜欢看水 而不是节约金钱 敲门确实是朋友 下雨我不是在乎性 只是喜欢听雨声
(一个趣味的心理测试，我对这种肤浅的佛洛依德式的简单对应的回应。就像波伏娃说的，你不可以把一个男人看成一个巨型精子，女人巨型卵子，用精子和卵子的结构特性来判定男性和女性的结构特性。毕竟事实是事实，比喻是比喻，不可以完全准确到位。）
13.论则不达，达则不论。说者不做，做者不说。
(这些都是谚语。信然，辩论者往往是因为炫耀口才，要不就是自己搞不懂。如果真正搞懂，那就不会特别在意去诉说，因为已经完全融入了自己的生活之中，不用那么麻烦地去赘述。
说自己要做什么的人，常常是没有必做的决绝，想做的热情以及能做到的信心的。因为否则，你首先就会去做了，只有偶尔有空，心血来潮，或者炫耀，哗众取宠，引人关注，已经做到等等时才会再说一说。）
14.一个硕士 一个中文硕士 理应淡定地点开一个帖子 以标致的文法娓娓道来 笑容可掬 风度隽永 哪有这样气急败坏的
（一个硕士在那里哗众取宠，虽然本人学业一般，但也不是因为嫉妒了。只是觉得确实名不副实罢了。而且我中文其实一般，能够连用四个成语，几个形容词，都如此生动，贴切，传神，感觉很好！）
15.速度决定形象。相对论已经证明了时间和空间一样有着相对性，那么一个人的物理与精神的速度也能够决定一个人生活的形象和感觉。
（钱钟书说，快活就是快速地活着。恰恰是对人的生活感觉与物理速度的一种联接。）
16.熵是一种世界观。
（虽然本人物理极差，对很多物理理论无法看懂，也没有接触很多。但是偶然看到这本书，我就深深记住了这个标题，并且每逢时光如梭，往事如烟的感慨时，就会从嘴里冒出来。经典的例子说：一个房间整理完后，就会开始逐渐凌乱和散漫。热力学定律也说冥冥之中这个世界的很多东西的一次性是不可逆的。你的生命就是一次性的，而造成的结果就会成为事实，无法完全还原而不借助“上帝的外力”。整体能量是守恒的，但是熵却会不断增加。一个人的生命能量应该也是类似有限的，你在某个方面付出的太多，拥有的快乐和痛苦太多，就会在别的方面被剥夺，比如寿命，别的快乐与痛苦。但是同时，成熟与衰老的变化却是不断增加的。而一旦你的童年在马戏团的幽默中享受完毕，你就不可能在青年时拥有古时候那些书童们步入青年时的感受。
总之，物理有时也能总结整个世界的一种特征和真实状态,不管是精神还是物质层面上。如果说数学是上帝的法则，那么物理就是这个宇宙的标签，与别的宇宙之区别所在，因为别的宇宙估计会有另一种物理法则和另一种光速)
17.罗素说：一个人应该始终和这个世界保持一种友善，和谐的关系。
（又是关于罗素的发言，可见我还是很推崇他的。。。爱因斯坦也曾经说过：阅读罗素的作品，是我一生中最快乐的时光。虽然我最快乐的时光肯定是童年的一些回忆了，但是阅读罗素的作品，我还是能够明白为什么一个数学和哲学家可以凭借他的作品赢得诺贝尔文学奖，以及他为什么能够活到99岁。确实因为他的思想很健康，很正确，生活方式也很正确。）
18.有时候时光就是一种惯性，无法改正一个坏习惯难免会有点无语。比如我说了不准弹琴时候起了兴就乱弹野弹，比如要远离文明的某些“荼毒”，比如要早起，比如要远离现代文明生活中的各种弊病，电磁波辐射等，比如要洗心革面把精神家园维持在好的格调，比如要把生活规划与生活事实详细列个清单，但是有时候却还是会“本性难移”。所以似乎，一个人所处的环境和童年生活还是对他起着很主要的影响的。当然，我们也应该始终追逐健康，美好，积极，自然的生活风格。知迷则清，知错就改，爱因斯坦说上帝从不掷骰子。谁能否认这种可能性的存在呢？尽管不可能性也一样。
新加的两段,分别发表于流行钢琴网和百度钢琴吧
1.成人学琴两年多了，这个曾经只听过几首古典名曲的脑袋，现在已经可以适应299和肖邦圆舞曲集的音乐难度了，虽然基础技术上仍有许多明显的缺点和不足，299的程度也不高，但我感觉如果我全面提高自己的各方面素质和觉悟的话，应该可以渐渐克服种种缺点，更进一步。
但是我有时候很迷茫，有时候练完琴要么整个人的脑袋好像都麻木了，要么就情绪波动很大，严重影响了自己的学习和生活。我不禁扪心自问，何苦呢？虽然这段学琴生涯，我收获诸多心得和体会，然而也失去了很多东西。
我 害怕大脑无法再恢复以前的状态，以前那种会听着英语磁带中贝多芬月光的一个乐段无比甜蜜地安然入睡，听着格里格的清晨朝气蓬勃地醒来的状态。现在不管听什 么音乐，都很麻木，甚至摇滚乐也没有快感了。除此以外，自己的心有时会有点累，朋友说我现在变得想法特别多。我害怕了。我不知道这是因为学了钢琴导致的还 是本身性格有缺陷。
所以：
1.继续学。那是为了在音乐地图上，游览完所有风景胜地，让自己每每说起音乐时发现自己其实并非半桶水，若有若无的理解和无法真正总结出一个印象。
然 而，我担心自己走入那种状态以后就无法复原，可以为别人创造音乐的感动，却无法再感动自己。所听到的仅仅是音符，节奏，线条，色彩，内涵，却没有了最初的 那种感性迷恋。以及，自己变成了一个“超凡脱俗”"行为诡谲“的人，有种种的玄虚境遇。那样岂不会很孤独，很抽象又很物化？
2.停止。
现在回忆当时第一次弹琴时那种激动和专注的情景，不免莞尔。难道这就是所谓的围城心理？如果这是真理，似乎天下没有什么可攀比了。
试 想，当初为了听月光而把英语磁带当CD来听，并且浮想联翩地入睡，同时不可遏制地在梦中勾勒自己会弹琴时的极大满足和快乐，如今，却又开始怀念当时的简单 天真小美好。想那么简单地走在街上，听到橱窗里的优美旋律会流连忘返，佯装购物；想永远保持一份儿童的天真和热情，不知道这世上还有现代主义那样邪恶的哲 思；想留一些本土文化的方言味道，不必在精神家园中种下整个世界的多样。
我不知道其他成人学琴有没有我这样的问题，或许这和钢琴的关系小于和我本身性格的关系。
希望大家给我一些建议，谢谢。
(我发这个帖子，确实是出于一种迷茫。主要是对音乐的一种认识上。到底人们为什么要前仆后继地为了弹奏一个狂2或者追雪或者德彪西就把自己搞得每天都沉浸在特定类型的声波当中几个小时？如果不是为了成为演奏家谋生，这就应该严谨对待。高雅，陶醉其实是一种社会心理学的表象，而实质是对成就感和虚荣的贪欲，对大脑麻醉和刺激的一种手段－－－也许你能因此培养思想的深度，但其实也会有副作用和损失的（在这个帖子中我已经举例了）。所以对我而言，也许是要适可而止一些了。不要被蛊惑，而忘记了什么是对什么是错，什么是好什么是坏。）
2.我们是现代人，所以现代的流行音乐会引起我们的共鸣
正如古典音乐会引起当时人们耳朵的共鸣一样
但是不可否认，不管是古典还是流行，都有好听与不好听，健康与不健康，纯洁与邪恶之分。
只不过他们代表了不同的文化，不同的思想感情，不同的价值观与不同的感染力与影响效果。
我讨厌贝多芬一些暴躁的音乐，讨厌流行着的某一首蛊惑人心的摇滚乐，喜欢某一段巴赫的宁静和莫扎特的明亮，喜欢某一首流行着的校园民谣。并不是说我喜欢某一种类型，而是说我喜欢适合那时心境的，有益身心健康的音乐。音乐的本质是一种物理，然后才是一种文化媒介。
不同的文化活动会追求不同的音乐使之或流行或小众，不同的音乐也会影响一个人的精神活动和心情，甚至理智，所以我认为楼主的认识还是流于表面了。
一个演奏家，不得以，他要接触某些现代音乐，某些暴躁的音乐，这是无可厚非的，因为有些人会为这些曲目付钱给他们。如果不是演奏家，我认为对于音乐就要采取一种严谨和批判的眼光。
不要沉迷于音乐的世界而失去自我的朴素，和谐与快乐；而听一首音乐也要明确这首音乐的性质是否合乎自己的心意。
有的人接触音乐，是为了以音乐谋生；有的人接触音乐，是为了纵欲；有的人接触音乐，是为了优越感和虚荣心；有的人接触音乐，并不明白是为了什么。
（这段要发得早一些，感触也是类似的。总之，对于音乐，我们不能狭隘地沉迷其中。正如，对于思想，我们也不能过于迷恋，认为越高深越好，越聪明越好。有什么用呢。不过是无知的我们自己为了一种虚荣和社会心理而贪婪而已。所以，可以说，就像现在，我通过理智去分析生活事实，并不是说理智是好的，而只是一种手段，运用它我可以拨乱反正，把错误的生活内容停止和减少，把正确的安排和靠近。这包括行动和思想上的，所以现在我也不会思考太深了，仅仅打字而已。对我而言，我更相信一个儿童那样的纯真，热情和好奇的状态，简单却快乐，无忧无虑也不会被成人世界和现代文明所蛊惑。）
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Je t'aime,Lutingwe!
To Lutingwei,the recent actor I adore and desire:
I wish that I could know how to smile beautifully when we meet someday under the banyan tree by that river,without being nervous and ashamed.
I wish that I could get up early every day in the future,taking photos of sunrise and other wild sceneries for you as a gift.
I wish that I could learn how to spend my days in goodness,so that you will kiss me for my healthy and adorable heart and mind.
I wish that I could stay in a better life,where my feelings and moods are as lucid as the limpid sky,and my desire and thoughts are as moderate as I favor.
I wish that I could mend a broken heart and abandon the evil as readily as your entering the adolescence of my heart.
I wish that I could set my life style and orbit well,so that I would not be distracted while I'm missing your smile and doing my busyness in my livelong day.
I wish that I could become purely healthy and blissful from the very innermost heart to the very outmost skin,that I shall not be sacrificing for,and bewitched and consumed by the sutble and invisible themes and objects,except the love for you,which sometimes renders my life innocent and vague.
I wish that I could stay andante and peaceful in the most part of my song,while your occurrence adds a dolce motif which appears briefly and grows into a friendly and sunny content.
I wish that I could...simply live a life just the way I feel right and fine,and have a chance to meet someone like you,and in my future,I wouldnt whisper and murmur like tonight I do:Ah,I should have deserved another vision of this spring.
Monday, March 16, 2009
云上的日子－－席慕容
初中的时候偶遇席慕容的文字，惊为天人。那种纯净优美的境界，那种宁静如歌的氛围，字里行间不经意地弥漫开来，让人爱不释手。
从此以后，每当心情不好，就会翻箱倒柜地找出她的作品集，看着这些极为聪慧而甜蜜的语句，眼中的世界也随之改变，仿佛丑恶的都被洗尽，美好的纷至沓来，猜想这也许就是女子比男子更胜一筹的地方。
席慕容的作品风格很统一，无非这些元素：大自然（花草，小岛，四季，湖泊，猫猫狗狗，蝴蝶，月亮等），艺术（音乐，钢琴，绘画，文学，雕塑 等），人世（时光，岁月，甜蜜的爱恋与爱慕，亲人之间，给读者的话，遇到的人等等），以及由此引发的抽象概念（如情感，幸福，矛盾，美，梦，对缘分的理 解，珍惜与感慨，等等）。
这很好理解，席慕容本身学的就是美术，对大自然的观察也是难免的，出国留学的阅历开阔了她的视野，她姐姐和女儿学的是音乐，所以当她开始写 作－－－她心里的话便无法再离开这个特定的世界，而她的心又是如此美丽，使得她在大自然，艺术，人世间萃取出了极为纯净，美好而宜人的一面，也造就了她绝对成熟的艺术境界和美学价值。
在现代化的生活之中，古典时代的价值和概念被人们渐渐遗弃。传统的调性与风格，被机械时代的逻辑与无调性，泛调性的自由所取代。沧海桑田之中，人们发现生活变得更便利，更自由，更丰富的同时，也不得不面临更多的混乱和迷茫，干涸与狂热。
所以，能在这样一个时代阅读到席慕容的作品，无疑是一种引人怀念的幸福。可以说她是一位真正热爱生命与大自然的作家，真正的作家不应以玩弄文字或者蛊惑人心为荣。
从此以后，每当心情不好，就会翻箱倒柜地找出她的作品集，看着这些极为聪慧而甜蜜的语句，眼中的世界也随之改变，仿佛丑恶的都被洗尽，美好的纷至沓来，猜想这也许就是女子比男子更胜一筹的地方。
席慕容的作品风格很统一，无非这些元素：大自然（花草，小岛，四季，湖泊，猫猫狗狗，蝴蝶，月亮等），艺术（音乐，钢琴，绘画，文学，雕塑 等），人世（时光，岁月，甜蜜的爱恋与爱慕，亲人之间，给读者的话，遇到的人等等），以及由此引发的抽象概念（如情感，幸福，矛盾，美，梦，对缘分的理 解，珍惜与感慨，等等）。
这很好理解，席慕容本身学的就是美术，对大自然的观察也是难免的，出国留学的阅历开阔了她的视野，她姐姐和女儿学的是音乐，所以当她开始写 作－－－她心里的话便无法再离开这个特定的世界，而她的心又是如此美丽，使得她在大自然，艺术，人世间萃取出了极为纯净，美好而宜人的一面，也造就了她绝对成熟的艺术境界和美学价值。
在现代化的生活之中，古典时代的价值和概念被人们渐渐遗弃。传统的调性与风格，被机械时代的逻辑与无调性，泛调性的自由所取代。沧海桑田之中，人们发现生活变得更便利，更自由，更丰富的同时，也不得不面临更多的混乱和迷茫，干涸与狂热。
所以，能在这样一个时代阅读到席慕容的作品，无疑是一种引人怀念的幸福。可以说她是一位真正热爱生命与大自然的作家，真正的作家不应以玩弄文字或者蛊惑人心为荣。
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A Brief Memorandum
Recently I'm reading some books from library,including A Brief History of Time by Hawkins,YouMengYing by Zhangchao,and several other mood-essay collections of unknown authors,and all the reflections and sentiment just emerge one after one in my sight,which I feel like putting down here tidily as a brief memorandum.
1.State of Mind
As stanislavsky said once:"one's state of mind consists of three parts:Moods,Thoughts,Desires."And moods form emotion,thoughts form wisdom,desires educe will,thus one's consciousness and subconsciousness are determined eventually.In my opinion,subconsciousness is like an ocean of different dreams of slumberland,while consciousness is the waves caused by the wind of life upon the ocean and the dreams that come true.Ergo,its the most essential and fundamental thing to change the subconsicousness if you desire a fresh and thoroughly new day.
And to approach and realize it,one should simply take care of his daily affairs,including the schedule of occupations,the range of the life orbit,the various activities and circumstances,then just let it happen in the river of time,and gradually everything is changing until the infinitude ends in a larger finitude,like 0.99999...is equal to 1.
Well,with a good state of mind,life would greet us with a blissful and healthy scenery.And just like one would usually forget all the feelings and consciousness of the dream he had last night;one would nearly forget all the feelings and consciousness of the past days---those sorrow,sadness,struggle,languor,happiness---after becoming "another person".(I call this the relativity of dream/mind).
2.History of Time
Certainly I cant understand even a tiny part of what Hawkins described and proclaimed in his magnificent and resplendent BOOK,which reminds me of that historic paper of Einstein and Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica by Newton.So What I'm referring to here is all about the difference among all the times.When I was a child,and even when I was reading some books on hisotry,I just had no sense of the obvious difference of epochs.
While now,I am so strongly impressed upon it that I always produce night dreams of living in another era of history.
The advantages of modern age are as much as the disadvantages of that,and what I can do is to be considerably cautious and prudent of choosing and determining,following and communicating,because any of them can result in a great difference,which somehow would usually ends in an sacrifice or an obsessive trap of a contemporary fashion or movement.
Albeit eventually we would undoubtedly be greatly influenced by the modern fashions dotted everywhere,we still could make our contribution and endeavor as much as possible.
BTW:Science can be quite suggestive,for instance:Methinks,our life(or time) is also ruled by inertia,it would only follow its trend and not change at all until a force is put upon,and so on...
3.Two Practical Principles in the world.
First level of our world system is politics,although most of us wont sense it very strongly.But its true,especially after the modern science and modern fiction defeated religion and divinity for the most part over the world.
General level of our earthly world is the sexuality.Apparently,its just so pervasive that it nearly wins on every occasion.
4.A proposal to my life
Well,You dont have that fortune to deserve a carefree liferoad,and even with some insecurity and trouble along.Therefore,you are not entitled to stay lounging forever in vain.
Instead,You should bid farewell to those past shadowy stories and learn to recover as soon as possible every time you get heart-broken;and you should establish an independent and healthy life before you are too old and withered,you should enrich your repertoire and accomplishment to sweep your despair,while gradually get mature and strong both physically and mentally,to realize a stable and carefree vision of life.
I hope I would clear every affair in my liferoad someday,then I can enjoy a springy and breezy moment of leisure and a long-term relaxation,just like a chef finishes a dainty course,and he can feel the same.
1.State of Mind
As stanislavsky said once:"one's state of mind consists of three parts:Moods,Thoughts,Desires."And moods form emotion,thoughts form wisdom,desires educe will,thus one's consciousness and subconsciousness are determined eventually.In my opinion,subconsciousness is like an ocean of different dreams of slumberland,while consciousness is the waves caused by the wind of life upon the ocean and the dreams that come true.Ergo,its the most essential and fundamental thing to change the subconsicousness if you desire a fresh and thoroughly new day.
And to approach and realize it,one should simply take care of his daily affairs,including the schedule of occupations,the range of the life orbit,the various activities and circumstances,then just let it happen in the river of time,and gradually everything is changing until the infinitude ends in a larger finitude,like 0.99999...is equal to 1.
Well,with a good state of mind,life would greet us with a blissful and healthy scenery.And just like one would usually forget all the feelings and consciousness of the dream he had last night;one would nearly forget all the feelings and consciousness of the past days---those sorrow,sadness,struggle,languor,happiness---after becoming "another person".(I call this the relativity of dream/mind).
2.History of Time
Certainly I cant understand even a tiny part of what Hawkins described and proclaimed in his magnificent and resplendent BOOK,which reminds me of that historic paper of Einstein and Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia Mathematica by Newton.So What I'm referring to here is all about the difference among all the times.When I was a child,and even when I was reading some books on hisotry,I just had no sense of the obvious difference of epochs.
While now,I am so strongly impressed upon it that I always produce night dreams of living in another era of history.
The advantages of modern age are as much as the disadvantages of that,and what I can do is to be considerably cautious and prudent of choosing and determining,following and communicating,because any of them can result in a great difference,which somehow would usually ends in an sacrifice or an obsessive trap of a contemporary fashion or movement.
Albeit eventually we would undoubtedly be greatly influenced by the modern fashions dotted everywhere,we still could make our contribution and endeavor as much as possible.
BTW:Science can be quite suggestive,for instance:Methinks,our life(or time) is also ruled by inertia,it would only follow its trend and not change at all until a force is put upon,and so on...
3.Two Practical Principles in the world.
First level of our world system is politics,although most of us wont sense it very strongly.But its true,especially after the modern science and modern fiction defeated religion and divinity for the most part over the world.
General level of our earthly world is the sexuality.Apparently,its just so pervasive that it nearly wins on every occasion.
4.A proposal to my life
Well,You dont have that fortune to deserve a carefree liferoad,and even with some insecurity and trouble along.Therefore,you are not entitled to stay lounging forever in vain.
Instead,You should bid farewell to those past shadowy stories and learn to recover as soon as possible every time you get heart-broken;and you should establish an independent and healthy life before you are too old and withered,you should enrich your repertoire and accomplishment to sweep your despair,while gradually get mature and strong both physically and mentally,to realize a stable and carefree vision of life.
I hope I would clear every affair in my liferoad someday,then I can enjoy a springy and breezy moment of leisure and a long-term relaxation,just like a chef finishes a dainty course,and he can feel the same.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
My Excerptions of ZengGuoFan's Family Letters
ZengGuoFan(1811-1872),traditionally named ZengBohan,artistically named ZengDisheng,and admiringly called ZengWengzheng,(In the past of China,one shared several names to different purpose),was an extraordinary prime general and famous genteel official,one of the most profound and significant figures in the neoteric history of China.
During the period of late Qing Dynasty,his family was generally considered as The First Family in China by both east and west,for its grand effect to the nation and outspread fame .However,nowadays its not so sheerly renowned any more,since the eldest-son ZengGuoFan remains disputed through the time baptism,to some extent.
Nevertheless,I would rather ignore these clamorous critics here,since its just too pointless.In my opinion,ZengGuofan was just a mighty and virtuous person who bravely assumed the arduous responsibilities of a large family(his parents raised nine kids),and tried his best efforts to prosper his own family(being the eldest son)as well as the whole nation(being the prime general),whilst realizing his personal creed upon life.
As below are my excerptions of the collection of his family letters.
To his brothers:
1.I hope you all engage yourselves in the improvement of virtue and business of occupation.
(in this letter,he said"Too many arts and skills are not kind to your health,such is the badness of not being pure and clear")
2.Had good mentors been scattered around you,you would only advance instead of backsliding.
3.Occupations should be pure and focused.
(in this letter,he said"among brothers,we can reach the secrets directly,but among different generations,sometimes we should bend to inform of the feelings and ideas"
also,"your occupations in March are too various,its forbidden to be not absorbed)
4.Fullness incurs damage while arrogance incurs misfortune.
5.Among brothers,we should love each other with virtue instead of doting.
6.Man should have the weather of strength and persistence.
(In this letter,he explained that this virtue is different from perversity.With strength,one can force himself to rectify his badness,with persistence,one can succeed in it and anything else.While perversity is just aimed at winning by its adamancy without realizing beneficial efforts)
7.Abstain from arrogance and wordiness.
8.Fortune and misfortuen are decided by sky,while favour and abandon are decided by human.
(in this letter he said"our brothers should never give up the will of washing our heart and changing our face to prosper our family")
9.Practice of endeavor and moil is the root of handling affairs.
(in this letter,he said"Brother Ji,you said being excellent is not optional for any hearts,such is definitely correct.The big and small are finally decided by destiny,however in the teaching of father to kids,elder brother to younger brothers,general to soldiers,we still should promote the diligence instead of fate.")
10.From ancient time to modern time,all the mediocre talents fail for laziness;all the brilliant talents fail for arrogance.
11.Brother Ji,you gave too much travelling expenses to Jize(his son).
12.We should inherit the traditional "three not believe" of our family,not believe in medication,not believe in monks and wizards,not believe in metaphysical people.
(in this letter,he said"I still think you should stop taking medicines,and use food recipes to change your body condition)
13.Killing is to stop violence.
(in this letter,he said"its an inattention to choose such jobs for we brothers,and killing is unpreventable,so we should try to ensure the goodness of its motivation.)
14.strength and gentleness should be developed together.
(Too gentle,one would be easy to decadent and delicate;too strong,one would be easy to be broken)
15.You should keep a distance from those who are talented but evil.
16.The"vastness"is the medicine of heart disease,the "not using medicine"is the medicine of "physical disease.(MY NOTES:i think its a bit different because at that time,western medicine had not been introduced into China)
17.Its best to make efforts but not telling others to win the glory.
(In this letter,he said its best to insert efforts where the situation is cool and peaceful.)
18.Flowers are not all flourishing,and moon is not full.
(Its the good way to keep the fortune and peace.Brother,you are like summer flower,so hot and outspreading,while iam like autume trees,trying to stay cool.I think you should notice this,because its not good to spend everything)
19.Showy fame cant bring happiness,but the vast bosom is really enjoyable.
20.One should make preparations for the worst situation when living in thriving and prosperous days.
21.Being scarcely angry is the root of preserving long-term health;Making merry is the root of communicating with families.
22.When you have welfare,you should not use it up;when you have influence and advantage,you should not use it up either.
23.The sooner you withdraw when you accomplished your goal,the better position you will achieve.
24.You will have the free space to advance and withdraw,when you clear every affair in your life.
25.Endless good ministers makes a country strong;Endless good descendants makes a family prosper.
26.You should dwell in the place where winds and waves are peaceful.
27.My knowledge has not achieved anything,its hard to be not ashamed and guilty.
(In this letter,he said"Brother Cheng knows how to blow the sorrow,and Ninth Brother returned hometown to chase the happiness,good for them!")
28.You should preserve the health as well as endeavoring in study,thus being strong and willing.
(In this letter,he said"I see that most kids in our family are a bit weak,and not very progressive in study.So i would give them six suggestions here:
1.take a thousand-step walk after meals2.wash the feet for a while before slumber3.No anger in the breast4.take a peaceful sit for a while as a habit5.practise the toxophily as a habit6.Have white rice for breakfast,without spices.
And also four suggestions on the other hand:1.the point of reading a new book is fast speed 2.the point of reading an old book is to be comprehensive 3.practise the calligraphy as a habit(its like a man without clothes,a mountain without trees to be without a handsome handwriting.)4.the point of writing an essay is deep and mature thought.All these tips are derived from my whole life experience,which I understand very deep while always being regretful for not realizing them completely.I hope all my nephews should notice.)
To parents:
1.I dont support the marriage with officers' members.
To sons and nephews:
1.Three important things:Getting up early,Being persistent,Being massive(My notes:it means ones character,not the outward appearance).Getting up early is our family's tradition,being persistent is my own experience,and being massive is because i see your manner of conduction is a bit flighty and frivolous.
1.Descendants of a grand family should emulate those of a poor family.
2.Your poetry should emulate TaoYuanming and Wangxizhi.
(In this letter,he said"Recently i read the poems of you and ZhangYihou,and yours are both very classical,which makes me very satisfied.But also,you should be strict with yourselves in the future,keeping your body like a jade.I suggest that you should emulate TaoYuanming and WangXizhi's vast heart,but its forbidden to emulate Jikang and Ruanji's poetry,since they are too profligate and gay.)
3.Dear nephew,i just received your letter.And I can see your handwriting become more and more beautiful,such is my pleasure!I hope you and your brothers keep helping each other....
4.Dear son,do you still remember my htree cautions as you left?The first and last one are laziness and arrogance.You are the kid of a grand family,very arresting when you are outside.So you should be careful.Before you test,you are not allowed to communicate with officers,and neither to pass letters.Days are so hot,do take care of yourself!
5.You should pick those with a nice taste and great expectation as your friends.
6.Be diligent and frugal to last the beauty and prosperity.
7.Recently i heard you are not very well.I once told you that you should not keep bitterness in your heart any longer!Be vivacious and vivid,keep happiness in your heart,then you wont be easily sullen. Zhangwenrui's book CongxunzhaiEssays talks a lot about children education,health preservation,picking friends,enjoying flowers,birds,mountains and waters,its sheerly peaceful and happy,you should read it as a habit.And so is ShengZu's book TingxunMottos.Both of you two kids are weak,do remember to read them,and inside them are all my wishes for you.
8.Your temperament is clean and pure,which usually results in being weak and narrow.Only by a determined mind and nice taste can change the weakness into strength,and only by a vast and leisureful mind can change the narrowness into easiness.
9.You should have a special wisdom to communicate with foreigners.
10.I dont suggest making friends with officers.
11.Establishing the machine factory is very essential to make our country strong now...
12.The conferences in beijing are mostly untruthful...
13.I worried about the droughts more than my own sickness...
To Mrs OuYang:
1.Being an minister is just occasional,while running a family is my long-term design.
Testaments:
1.first time
I'm going to Tianjin tomorrow,its about the case of murdering a foreigner and burning a western church by Tianjin people.Foreigners are mostly unfriendly and sinister,while Tianjin people are usually riotous and boisterous.The case is really hard to handle.So I decide to set my testament now:Refuse to receive presents after my death,my essays are not allowed to be published,you should stop being jealous and chasing if you really impetrate virtue,every month you should limit the family expenses,look upon uncles and aunts like your parents.
2.second time
1.慎独则心安。watch your manner and mind when you are alone,then you would be peaceful and just in heart.(In this part,he said"Love virtue like love beautiful scenery,abhor vice like abhor the sick odour".)
2.主敬则身强。the main stream is to be respectful,then you would be physically strong.(In this part,he said"when you are going outside,you should feel like you are going to meet a dear and honoured guest.Its all the fortune of being respectful that your inner heart becomes pure and devotional,your appearance becomes orderly and careful.)
3.求仁则人悦。Be kind-hearted,and you with others would all feel happy.
4.习劳则神钦。Practise the labour,then the ghosts and fairies would admire and respect you.
(In this part,he said"Regardless of being noble,poor,man,women,old,young,past,modern,human beings love leisure and hate labour.But one should defend against this inclination.)
I'm old and sick,which is impossible to change back.And you,with most of my kids and nephews are a bit weak,ergo i suppose,we all should remember these four tips i wrote today,thus we could keep our family prosperous for a long period,and if the ghosts and fairies admire our efforts,then the propitious omens would naturally appear.
My Ending Notes:
The western culture has changed the whole world in the recent centuries,and nowadays I live in a hybrid China.
But i never really loved it.The capitalism,the ambitious western culture,ect,they sometimes touched me,but never persuaded me.I just know clearly that this is not the world and the life I'm really enthusiastic for.I dont care about their business and dreams albeit somtimes they seem dramatic and interesting.
As a chinese,somehow I do sense that in the deep bottom of my innermost heart and soul,there is an ancient call and naive echo eternally swinging.
Every night,it whispers secretly to me that the peaceful and degage life dwelling with the vivid nature is the only sweetness and happiness my ancestors had pointed out and pre-decided for me.
I wouldnt be surprised,if I should know that what kind of unique soul and portion of mine have been formed through its five thousand years' affectionate immersion and sweet whisper.
In the end,I would love to conclude thus:
Though western culture has changed the whole world,I would still consider my own traditional dream as the most charming prospect in my life.Its not about competition or difference,its just about a fascination upon a hometown dream.
During the period of late Qing Dynasty,his family was generally considered as The First Family in China by both east and west,for its grand effect to the nation and outspread fame .However,nowadays its not so sheerly renowned any more,since the eldest-son ZengGuoFan remains disputed through the time baptism,to some extent.
Nevertheless,I would rather ignore these clamorous critics here,since its just too pointless.In my opinion,ZengGuofan was just a mighty and virtuous person who bravely assumed the arduous responsibilities of a large family(his parents raised nine kids),and tried his best efforts to prosper his own family(being the eldest son)as well as the whole nation(being the prime general),whilst realizing his personal creed upon life.
As below are my excerptions of the collection of his family letters.
To his brothers:
1.I hope you all engage yourselves in the improvement of virtue and business of occupation.
(in this letter,he said"Too many arts and skills are not kind to your health,such is the badness of not being pure and clear")
2.Had good mentors been scattered around you,you would only advance instead of backsliding.
3.Occupations should be pure and focused.
(in this letter,he said"among brothers,we can reach the secrets directly,but among different generations,sometimes we should bend to inform of the feelings and ideas"
also,"your occupations in March are too various,its forbidden to be not absorbed)
4.Fullness incurs damage while arrogance incurs misfortune.
5.Among brothers,we should love each other with virtue instead of doting.
6.Man should have the weather of strength and persistence.
(In this letter,he explained that this virtue is different from perversity.With strength,one can force himself to rectify his badness,with persistence,one can succeed in it and anything else.While perversity is just aimed at winning by its adamancy without realizing beneficial efforts)
7.Abstain from arrogance and wordiness.
8.Fortune and misfortuen are decided by sky,while favour and abandon are decided by human.
(in this letter he said"our brothers should never give up the will of washing our heart and changing our face to prosper our family")
9.Practice of endeavor and moil is the root of handling affairs.
(in this letter,he said"Brother Ji,you said being excellent is not optional for any hearts,such is definitely correct.The big and small are finally decided by destiny,however in the teaching of father to kids,elder brother to younger brothers,general to soldiers,we still should promote the diligence instead of fate.")
10.From ancient time to modern time,all the mediocre talents fail for laziness;all the brilliant talents fail for arrogance.
11.Brother Ji,you gave too much travelling expenses to Jize(his son).
12.We should inherit the traditional "three not believe" of our family,not believe in medication,not believe in monks and wizards,not believe in metaphysical people.
(in this letter,he said"I still think you should stop taking medicines,and use food recipes to change your body condition)
13.Killing is to stop violence.
(in this letter,he said"its an inattention to choose such jobs for we brothers,and killing is unpreventable,so we should try to ensure the goodness of its motivation.)
14.strength and gentleness should be developed together.
(Too gentle,one would be easy to decadent and delicate;too strong,one would be easy to be broken)
15.You should keep a distance from those who are talented but evil.
16.The"vastness"is the medicine of heart disease,the "not using medicine"is the medicine of "physical disease.(MY NOTES:i think its a bit different because at that time,western medicine had not been introduced into China)
17.Its best to make efforts but not telling others to win the glory.
(In this letter,he said its best to insert efforts where the situation is cool and peaceful.)
18.Flowers are not all flourishing,and moon is not full.
(Its the good way to keep the fortune and peace.Brother,you are like summer flower,so hot and outspreading,while iam like autume trees,trying to stay cool.I think you should notice this,because its not good to spend everything)
19.Showy fame cant bring happiness,but the vast bosom is really enjoyable.
20.One should make preparations for the worst situation when living in thriving and prosperous days.
21.Being scarcely angry is the root of preserving long-term health;Making merry is the root of communicating with families.
22.When you have welfare,you should not use it up;when you have influence and advantage,you should not use it up either.
23.The sooner you withdraw when you accomplished your goal,the better position you will achieve.
24.You will have the free space to advance and withdraw,when you clear every affair in your life.
25.Endless good ministers makes a country strong;Endless good descendants makes a family prosper.
26.You should dwell in the place where winds and waves are peaceful.
27.My knowledge has not achieved anything,its hard to be not ashamed and guilty.
(In this letter,he said"Brother Cheng knows how to blow the sorrow,and Ninth Brother returned hometown to chase the happiness,good for them!")
28.You should preserve the health as well as endeavoring in study,thus being strong and willing.
(In this letter,he said"I see that most kids in our family are a bit weak,and not very progressive in study.So i would give them six suggestions here:
1.take a thousand-step walk after meals2.wash the feet for a while before slumber3.No anger in the breast4.take a peaceful sit for a while as a habit5.practise the toxophily as a habit6.Have white rice for breakfast,without spices.
And also four suggestions on the other hand:1.the point of reading a new book is fast speed 2.the point of reading an old book is to be comprehensive 3.practise the calligraphy as a habit(its like a man without clothes,a mountain without trees to be without a handsome handwriting.)4.the point of writing an essay is deep and mature thought.All these tips are derived from my whole life experience,which I understand very deep while always being regretful for not realizing them completely.I hope all my nephews should notice.)
To parents:
1.I dont support the marriage with officers' members.
To sons and nephews:
1.Three important things:Getting up early,Being persistent,Being massive(My notes:it means ones character,not the outward appearance).Getting up early is our family's tradition,being persistent is my own experience,and being massive is because i see your manner of conduction is a bit flighty and frivolous.
1.Descendants of a grand family should emulate those of a poor family.
2.Your poetry should emulate TaoYuanming and Wangxizhi.
(In this letter,he said"Recently i read the poems of you and ZhangYihou,and yours are both very classical,which makes me very satisfied.But also,you should be strict with yourselves in the future,keeping your body like a jade.I suggest that you should emulate TaoYuanming and WangXizhi's vast heart,but its forbidden to emulate Jikang and Ruanji's poetry,since they are too profligate and gay.)
3.Dear nephew,i just received your letter.And I can see your handwriting become more and more beautiful,such is my pleasure!I hope you and your brothers keep helping each other....
4.Dear son,do you still remember my htree cautions as you left?The first and last one are laziness and arrogance.You are the kid of a grand family,very arresting when you are outside.So you should be careful.Before you test,you are not allowed to communicate with officers,and neither to pass letters.Days are so hot,do take care of yourself!
5.You should pick those with a nice taste and great expectation as your friends.
6.Be diligent and frugal to last the beauty and prosperity.
7.Recently i heard you are not very well.I once told you that you should not keep bitterness in your heart any longer!Be vivacious and vivid,keep happiness in your heart,then you wont be easily sullen. Zhangwenrui's book CongxunzhaiEssays talks a lot about children education,health preservation,picking friends,enjoying flowers,birds,mountains and waters,its sheerly peaceful and happy,you should read it as a habit.And so is ShengZu's book TingxunMottos.Both of you two kids are weak,do remember to read them,and inside them are all my wishes for you.
8.Your temperament is clean and pure,which usually results in being weak and narrow.Only by a determined mind and nice taste can change the weakness into strength,and only by a vast and leisureful mind can change the narrowness into easiness.
9.You should have a special wisdom to communicate with foreigners.
10.I dont suggest making friends with officers.
11.Establishing the machine factory is very essential to make our country strong now...
12.The conferences in beijing are mostly untruthful...
13.I worried about the droughts more than my own sickness...
To Mrs OuYang:
1.Being an minister is just occasional,while running a family is my long-term design.
Testaments:
1.first time
I'm going to Tianjin tomorrow,its about the case of murdering a foreigner and burning a western church by Tianjin people.Foreigners are mostly unfriendly and sinister,while Tianjin people are usually riotous and boisterous.The case is really hard to handle.So I decide to set my testament now:Refuse to receive presents after my death,my essays are not allowed to be published,you should stop being jealous and chasing if you really impetrate virtue,every month you should limit the family expenses,look upon uncles and aunts like your parents.
2.second time
1.慎独则心安。watch your manner and mind when you are alone,then you would be peaceful and just in heart.(In this part,he said"Love virtue like love beautiful scenery,abhor vice like abhor the sick odour".)
2.主敬则身强。the main stream is to be respectful,then you would be physically strong.(In this part,he said"when you are going outside,you should feel like you are going to meet a dear and honoured guest.Its all the fortune of being respectful that your inner heart becomes pure and devotional,your appearance becomes orderly and careful.)
3.求仁则人悦。Be kind-hearted,and you with others would all feel happy.
4.习劳则神钦。Practise the labour,then the ghosts and fairies would admire and respect you.
(In this part,he said"Regardless of being noble,poor,man,women,old,young,past,modern,human beings love leisure and hate labour.But one should defend against this inclination.)
I'm old and sick,which is impossible to change back.And you,with most of my kids and nephews are a bit weak,ergo i suppose,we all should remember these four tips i wrote today,thus we could keep our family prosperous for a long period,and if the ghosts and fairies admire our efforts,then the propitious omens would naturally appear.
My Ending Notes:
The western culture has changed the whole world in the recent centuries,and nowadays I live in a hybrid China.
But i never really loved it.The capitalism,the ambitious western culture,ect,they sometimes touched me,but never persuaded me.I just know clearly that this is not the world and the life I'm really enthusiastic for.I dont care about their business and dreams albeit somtimes they seem dramatic and interesting.
As a chinese,somehow I do sense that in the deep bottom of my innermost heart and soul,there is an ancient call and naive echo eternally swinging.
Every night,it whispers secretly to me that the peaceful and degage life dwelling with the vivid nature is the only sweetness and happiness my ancestors had pointed out and pre-decided for me.
I wouldnt be surprised,if I should know that what kind of unique soul and portion of mine have been formed through its five thousand years' affectionate immersion and sweet whisper.
In the end,I would love to conclude thus:
Though western culture has changed the whole world,I would still consider my own traditional dream as the most charming prospect in my life.Its not about competition or difference,its just about a fascination upon a hometown dream.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
An Actor Prepares
1.
Sometimes I feel my life is an embarrassment.B.Russell once said"The first approach to happiness of life is to pick a fine family to be born into",which I totally agree now.
When i stare at my family tree when i was really bored,something looks really obvious-----on my father's side,grandparents were both farmers,and grandpa died just before I was born,while on my maternal side,they were both doctors(in fact they were all doctors except my mother).And among all my uncles and aunts,cousins and other relatives,there is none who has said any mottos to my ear when I was young.Its just a petty and insignificant family.So as I grow older day after day,I feel its not enough for me to realize my dream and guarantee my integrity emerging from such a family education.
So,one day i advanced this opinion to one of my mentors,and he returned thus,"Are you making complaints about your parentage?How do you ascertain what kind of life would be indeed perfect and secured as you observed beside?" I mused for a while,and uttered"I'm not complaining of my destiny,I just feel this is not the kind of life i would be really enthusiastic for.I really hope i could have designed my life for my own penchant,as I was born." He replied,"Everyone has encountered such wishes,but finally you would know god is sheerly fair and square,in some sense."
Really?God,do you know it?do you still remember my prayers?
Seriously,What i'm trying to convey here is not that I'm an aspiring and ambitious guy,nor am I having a lot of daydreams and illusions,but just a guy trying to guarantee his life staying in the fitness and fineness.
As I have observed thus far,one of my largest trouble is that sometimes I tend to be attracted to the same gender,especially when I was younger,as my male sexual instinct had not been woken up.Nevertheless,I still cannot fall in love with girls,I just feel them very adorable and beautiful,but It would make me uncomfortable if they come close to me as i smell the special girls' scent,even my mother and sister's.And this just changes my whole life system as if I always should do something or prepare for something,as if I am not secured in a hidden sense,as if a jew who cant stop feeling insecured when he was visiting a museum of the Second World War.
Besides this,i think my life is mainly tranquil and normal----so thats why i spend so much time unconsciously considering this issue in my leisure time.
I'm pretty sure,albeit this is not the kind of some problems like lacking a leg or being a disabled person,but it just affects me so much and so deep that i just have to face it in the manner of words.And,I hope sometimes i can live in a world just like the debussy's L'Apres midid'un Faune,where nothing be sacrificed in some so-called human cultural process.
2.
Ok,stop here.I think I'm getting a bit cerebral again.Well,this is not what I want as always.I have had enough about all these knowledges,cultures,minds'sports,piano,computer,violin,chess and academic subjects,finesses and nuances----which to be honest i have none professionally good at----though,I'm not bashing all these brilliant things,I just think the modern life is a bit over-cultural and this is not good.
I hope to live a proper life sometimes,and the discovery is not yet.
An athlete?Yes,sport is very important and helpful for a person's health.But living like an animal is not sufficient.
A musician?No,no,no...It would drive me crazy...
A local man or an international man?Its hard to say....Maybe they wont conflict...
A dancer?Yep,a good try.
A pilgrim?No...Religion is dangerous and unconvincing.
A novelist?Yep,a good try.
A farmer?Yes,i miss the time when I was living in country,very good memory!
A swimmer?Very good,but will i be drown?Scary...
An actor?Yes,i think its a good idea...
ETC?ETC....
3.
Once upon a time,I was living a life just like an actor.This conclusion is derived from my reading a book by Stanislavsky----An Actor Prepares(Chinese Version)
Stanislavsky System includes Four Volumes.And AAP ocuppies the second and third volumes.I'm still reading the second volume,but i think i have totally grasped the core and soul of Stanislavsky System.
Actor,in the broad sense,is all about the professional knowledge and practice of conduction and action.I think Art,Science,Practice form the magic of life,and stanislavsky is trying to make the "Actor" a professional in actualizing such magic.
Stanislavsky expressed his materialistic and realistic esthetical opinions about "Real Acting Art"through the form of a novelistic diary----which makes reading so funny and interesting----He criticized severely those artists who dully imitated the outward appearance of the roles instead of putting their real emotions,producing real innermost motif and emotion to behave on the stage.He thinks only by such efforts can a role and a performance be truly impressive and touching.
Stanislavsky also considered actions the most important thing on the stage,including outward and inside parts.And one should think"If I were",and live in the"Prescribed Situation",and learn to imagine actively,and learn to relax one's muscles and nerves(He thinks mental activities are simul connected with the physical activities and muscle fitness.)And he thinks one should train his "Attention Circle"(Large,Middle,Small three styles)converting among different styles in his practical life,and cutting the life course into pieces and regather them,and one should know how to recall the memory of the mood,which is instant but brilliant in stage performance.And He thinks actors are virtually realistic in the heart level,and actors should be smart and free,should be avoiding the reason when acting a role,should be naive as a child,should be credulous and enthusiastic.....
Well,one thing always in my mind,when reading this book,is that,what it puts forward,is also totally applicable to all cases in life,not only on the stage.For every person in their different lives,this book can be indeed helpful----at least,i learnt a lot from it.They say,enthusiasm and naivety are the anima of an actor,I say they are also the anima of a human being.
Its totally fine to conclude that everyone is an actor in their life,because life is sheerly made of actions and activities in a sense.And learning the skills of an actor,just helps one more easily face the different situations in one's life,and more actively making decisions and realize them practically,and more freely and breezily live one'slife,since actors run a special and comfy lifestyle.
Sometimes I feel my life is an embarrassment.B.Russell once said"The first approach to happiness of life is to pick a fine family to be born into",which I totally agree now.
When i stare at my family tree when i was really bored,something looks really obvious-----on my father's side,grandparents were both farmers,and grandpa died just before I was born,while on my maternal side,they were both doctors(in fact they were all doctors except my mother).And among all my uncles and aunts,cousins and other relatives,there is none who has said any mottos to my ear when I was young.Its just a petty and insignificant family.So as I grow older day after day,I feel its not enough for me to realize my dream and guarantee my integrity emerging from such a family education.
So,one day i advanced this opinion to one of my mentors,and he returned thus,"Are you making complaints about your parentage?How do you ascertain what kind of life would be indeed perfect and secured as you observed beside?" I mused for a while,and uttered"I'm not complaining of my destiny,I just feel this is not the kind of life i would be really enthusiastic for.I really hope i could have designed my life for my own penchant,as I was born." He replied,"Everyone has encountered such wishes,but finally you would know god is sheerly fair and square,in some sense."
Really?God,do you know it?do you still remember my prayers?
Seriously,What i'm trying to convey here is not that I'm an aspiring and ambitious guy,nor am I having a lot of daydreams and illusions,but just a guy trying to guarantee his life staying in the fitness and fineness.
As I have observed thus far,one of my largest trouble is that sometimes I tend to be attracted to the same gender,especially when I was younger,as my male sexual instinct had not been woken up.Nevertheless,I still cannot fall in love with girls,I just feel them very adorable and beautiful,but It would make me uncomfortable if they come close to me as i smell the special girls' scent,even my mother and sister's.And this just changes my whole life system as if I always should do something or prepare for something,as if I am not secured in a hidden sense,as if a jew who cant stop feeling insecured when he was visiting a museum of the Second World War.
Besides this,i think my life is mainly tranquil and normal----so thats why i spend so much time unconsciously considering this issue in my leisure time.
I'm pretty sure,albeit this is not the kind of some problems like lacking a leg or being a disabled person,but it just affects me so much and so deep that i just have to face it in the manner of words.And,I hope sometimes i can live in a world just like the debussy's L'Apres midid'un Faune,where nothing be sacrificed in some so-called human cultural process.
2.
Ok,stop here.I think I'm getting a bit cerebral again.Well,this is not what I want as always.I have had enough about all these knowledges,cultures,minds'sports,piano,computer,violin,chess and academic subjects,finesses and nuances----which to be honest i have none professionally good at----though,I'm not bashing all these brilliant things,I just think the modern life is a bit over-cultural and this is not good.
I hope to live a proper life sometimes,and the discovery is not yet.
An athlete?Yes,sport is very important and helpful for a person's health.But living like an animal is not sufficient.
A musician?No,no,no...It would drive me crazy...
A local man or an international man?Its hard to say....Maybe they wont conflict...
A dancer?Yep,a good try.
A pilgrim?No...Religion is dangerous and unconvincing.
A novelist?Yep,a good try.
A farmer?Yes,i miss the time when I was living in country,very good memory!
A swimmer?Very good,but will i be drown?Scary...
An actor?Yes,i think its a good idea...
ETC?ETC....
3.
Once upon a time,I was living a life just like an actor.This conclusion is derived from my reading a book by Stanislavsky----An Actor Prepares(Chinese Version)
Stanislavsky System includes Four Volumes.And AAP ocuppies the second and third volumes.I'm still reading the second volume,but i think i have totally grasped the core and soul of Stanislavsky System.
Actor,in the broad sense,is all about the professional knowledge and practice of conduction and action.I think Art,Science,Practice form the magic of life,and stanislavsky is trying to make the "Actor" a professional in actualizing such magic.
Stanislavsky expressed his materialistic and realistic esthetical opinions about "Real Acting Art"through the form of a novelistic diary----which makes reading so funny and interesting----He criticized severely those artists who dully imitated the outward appearance of the roles instead of putting their real emotions,producing real innermost motif and emotion to behave on the stage.He thinks only by such efforts can a role and a performance be truly impressive and touching.
Stanislavsky also considered actions the most important thing on the stage,including outward and inside parts.And one should think"If I were",and live in the"Prescribed Situation",and learn to imagine actively,and learn to relax one's muscles and nerves(He thinks mental activities are simul connected with the physical activities and muscle fitness.)And he thinks one should train his "Attention Circle"(Large,Middle,Small three styles)converting among different styles in his practical life,and cutting the life course into pieces and regather them,and one should know how to recall the memory of the mood,which is instant but brilliant in stage performance.And He thinks actors are virtually realistic in the heart level,and actors should be smart and free,should be avoiding the reason when acting a role,should be naive as a child,should be credulous and enthusiastic.....
Well,one thing always in my mind,when reading this book,is that,what it puts forward,is also totally applicable to all cases in life,not only on the stage.For every person in their different lives,this book can be indeed helpful----at least,i learnt a lot from it.They say,enthusiasm and naivety are the anima of an actor,I say they are also the anima of a human being.
Its totally fine to conclude that everyone is an actor in their life,because life is sheerly made of actions and activities in a sense.And learning the skills of an actor,just helps one more easily face the different situations in one's life,and more actively making decisions and realize them practically,and more freely and breezily live one'slife,since actors run a special and comfy lifestyle.
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