The Last Puritant

I stood silently by the window of my bedroom,gazing upon the starry veil of night.
Glenn,It just reminds me of you,and my heart is drifting afar in the air.
Where are you now?What are you doing?AND How do you do?
You said you knew there was a hereafter for us,there was another "you" to continue,there were always shadows of your tone and shines of your smile,history was forfeited and failed sweeping the memory.So seriously,where are you,my Glenn Herbert Gould?

In China,the rumor has it that 10 years devotion makes two shipping together in the hereafter,100years devotion makes two get married in the next life.So when would the day come and we can meet in the continous river of time?Is it during this life or another one,whenver it is,i would wait like a prayer in the pilgrimage,and i would save my dance for you to make you live a happy life----No longer the solitude trilogy,and no longer the last puritan,and no longer the torture of being this Glenn Herbert Gould. Cornelia said you were extremely heterosexual,but i dont care,she lied of course,you didnt marry,or could i say you married to solitude and puritanism,to Bach and Goldberg Variations?Howsoever,You should not belong to her,who if truly confessed,had revealed your secret and betrayed her husband.She doesnt deserve you,and i wish i could outdo her in every sense.If you became a man in the hereafter,i would be a woman to be your wife,taking care of you,making you culminate comfortably during every single sex,cooking the food everyday you return home,raising children into nice human beings;if you became a woman,i would be one of the best men ever to offer you fairy tales in reality,to make you free and secured,to make you beautiful and joyful in the depth of heart;if you became gay,i would be willing to suffer its sickness and hardship,and assure you permanent happiness.You deserve to beloved and treasured,you are worthwhile and exclusive for me,and for ever.

No,its not enough,Glenn,its just not enough.I dont know how to console your straying soul and plaintive backshadow.I know it,i dont deserve that and i can never fulfil my promise,albeit i embark every minute i realize your indispensability,still not sufficient.They say,stop daydreams,its predestined for all.But every time i see your portrait,i start to know how to wait,how to bear the vanity and purity of vacant solitude.
Yes,finally someday would come to end it,end my vague mind and petty heart,and that day,your eyes of reflection touch my dusty soul,and i hug you in tears as if i was again younger than age.

Alas,the starry night is in its dream now,Glenn.
Could you answer me with any signs in sky?I dont know who is watching the stars like me right now?And who recalls you as well as I do in this obscure night?
Glenn Gould,I think i can understand you.Its such a coincidence of the randomicity.
This solitude of night,may you be my testimony,and prove my respect and melting mood.


The night is vanishing into vanity,were you hidden in the dew of the flower,or in the mist of the garden?You all look the same,pure and blue,ardent and devotional to form the beauty of the world.
You are gone,you are never to show up again,you are in the amber of history,but you are everywhere in my eyes.
Farewell,this night of solitude
Farewell,those passionate bygone days
Farewell,the last puritant
Farewell,My Glenn Gould.

LaDolceVita(My Views Upon Happiness and Life)

1.What is happiness?
Happiness is subjective,everyone holds an another view.
Happiness is objective,because its a spiritual culmination based on the biological mechanism and biochemical materials.The more one suffers,the stronger the happiness feeling would be,just like a bottle of cool water drunk in a vast desert,and a comfortable hotel room during the long and exhausting journey;while the more one indulges himself in endless enjoyment,the stronger the pang and languor would be,just like the decadence of petty bourgeoisie,and the weakness and torture of some "happiness-addicted" women.
Ergo,seeking nothing but the happiness would be likely to lead to a Hardy's novel---Always meet the cruelty of reality,and cant stop feeling plaintive and sad.For instance,too much desire and action of mental stimulation would also be a reason that oneday the mind would lose its control and get lost in disorder.And as B.Russel said once,that only those who knows how to be controlled and relaxed,how to bear the boring and monotonous time of positive devotion,how to labour phisically would be live a happy age,therefore,i would make this as the first notice of my life.Like a limited cake,you have to treasure and save so that time wont frustrate you,but may surprise you with benefaction.
Nevertheless,i have my own details of the happy life,for instance:Health,Safety,Independence,Freedom,Harmonious relationship with the world,Awareness of art and sports,fulfillment of motivations.
Firstly,one should be healthy,from the inside heart to the outware body,one should consummate his integrity in character,and pick a fine circumstance to live in;secondly,one should heed the safety,dont take flights too often,and dont touch those dangerous persons and stuffs;also be independent and free,and keep the fitness in the world,with secured feeling and justy sense,both the consciousness and subconsciousness should be clean and refreshed like a pure spring steam flowing in the dale;and one should be aware of art and sports,so that he can be educated enough for a good life,since they all observe the same law,and one should also complete those motivations already produced in his heart.
Yet my dream is still afar off at present,thus my life should continue to be improved and amended in the future.
2.What is the life?
Life is like pottery,its an art of time.It observes the law of itself,which is not wholly discovered by human,but it just works during all the ages.So,you should take care of this art work very carefully,because anything of any age in your life would remains in its body and shapes individually like a pottery gets formed.You do one thing at age 10 or 20,the shape of your life would be different,and thats why tempo and speed is important for music,but musical notes doesnt remain to form a shape,the life will,and the life is not as free as music.But its not necessarily to regret and sigh,the beauty of art is established in the cruelty of time and regulations,like chess,like ballet.You cant learn to play the piano or violin at an considerable elder age,and still claims to be as successful as kissin,albeit the pottery can get reshaped if its a failure shape.So life is life,everyone knows it,and everyone is enclosed in his own shape,ie destiny of his being.But,just as Descartes said"i dont overcome the fate,i overcome myself;I dont wanna change the world,i wanna change my mind"
So is my will.Of course my life is different from the life i dream of,and the liferoad is different too.But I feel its fine,and i wish to live it with my ardent love and sincere heart to discover its unique happiness and brilliance.
3.After the meditation of concepts,i am wearied,so i would like to stop here and have some drink and a walk in the flowery park.

Maybe i am just a person,a person in this endless capitalist world.